Birth Day

Oh boy...labor. They were not kidding when they say its impossible to explain to someone who has not been through it. I have been dreading writing this post because I'm just so scared I wont give it justice. For one, Epidurals are fantastic... however there are parts of my labor I literally cant remember because I was so out of it. I had to ask my family and friends who were in the delivery room with me for some of the details I simply could not remember them in order. I remember the parts that are goofy, my mom remembered the medical stuff and my best friend Meg remembered all the important details like nurses names and so forth. I highly recommend every one to have that group of people for you in delivery. I could not have done it alone. Ian and I had discussed it just being us and in the end I am very happy for the people I had with me. Ian had been working for days and was on little sleep so he literally slept from the time they admitted me until it was time to push 12 hours later. So I am thankful for my mom, mother in law and best friend who were there to talk to me, to force me to nap, and to make me laugh through the crazy amount of panic that hit me right before labor. I'm also very very thankful that they were there to hold my legs, because again, epidurals are amazing... and I couldn't feel my legs at all. Thanks again ladies, that was not a pretty job but I love you all!

Ok, enough of that. Lets get to the nitty gritty of this post. Its why I'm here right?

For starters I was past due. I had my induction scheduled for the 30th so baby would have been born on Sept 1st most likely and I was determined to have this baby in August so that was not going to work for me. So I did everything in my power to beat my induction date. I took all the advice and wives tales to heart and so I started eating all the Mexican food in sight, I had sex, I drank more water then physically possible, and I walked...and walked...and walked....and walked... It was soooo very painful too! Honestly, if I could pick one thing that was the worst part of being pregnant it would be walking from month 9 on. Every step got more and more painful. It is just plain awful.
Before actually going into labor I had been to the hospital like 3-4 times (dont worry I wont tell you about all of them. Most were very boring) and kept getting sent home. I had absolutely no progress but so much pain. It was so frustrating and I felt like I was doing something wrong because my body just wasn't doing what it was supposed to. However, I would not say I regret going to the hospital any time I went. It is a much better feeling to know you're ok then to sit at home scared that you're in labor and not knowing whats going on. The doctors were so nice every time I went in and they never made me feel stupid for going in with out need. However, every time we left with no baby it almost felt like doing the walk of shame. Especially the first time we went in the night I thought my water had broken (I will get to that in a minute) and we had over night bags and pillows and our hands full of all the essentials and then got sent home a few hours later with all of our stuff... embarrassing. Haha. But we learned to never bring "stuff" with us. We realized to leave it in the car and once admitted Ian went out to the car and got it all and from then on it was golden.

So, my water broke. Oops just kidding.
That was a rough rough night! So very disappointing. But a great story. Ian had sent me a text (that I will not recite verbatim due to graphic detail) saying a co worker told him she went into labor after some very (graphic detail inserted here) sex. At this point in my uncomfortable and just plain miserable state of being I was up for anything to get this baby out so I gave the green light for some intimate husband and wife time. Then I immediately went to bed. Lets face it, sex when 10 months pregnant is exhausting. I woke up at 2:30 AM with the strongest urge to pee and when I stood up....GUSH.... my immediate reaction was "Oh shit, I peed myself" I was so pissed I had gone 10 months without peeing myself, not even a trickle, and I was proud of this. Then I realized I still had to pee so that couldn't have been pee all over my bedroom floor. I went to the bathroom and just started cracking up laughing because I realized I had to wake Ian up and tell him he was right about the sex situation. I woke him up and he was ready to go. He jumped up and starting packing bags. I was packing my hospital bag and realized he was packing his PlayStation... typical Ian :-) We loaded up the car and headed to the hospital. Looking back I should have realized something wasn't right because I was contracting or anything,  but I was determined my water had broken. Once there they strap you up to all these monitors which I always loved because I could here my little guys heart beat. Then they do the exam...OUCH. If you are not dilated yet this examine is a bitch. And they did it like 100 times. Ok, it was probably only twice but I was miserable and tired and quite frankly being a big baby. They then check to make sure your water actually broke. Its just a piece of paper! They wipe your junk with a strip of paper and wait for the results. And then it happened.... the nurse came in and told me my water was indeed NOT broken. UGH. I had however lost my mucus plug and was now 1cm dilated and 50% effaced (http://americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/effacement.html) So I went home at 7 AM, with no baby and a sleep deprived grumpy husband. The next day I starting the walking... went to the mall with some girl friends and walked and walked and walked and ate lunch and walked some more. Then I couldn't walk any more. I got to the point where I made my friend go get the car and meet me. Once I got home Ian and I decided to relax for the night and we picked out a tv show on Netflix to watch and he went out and got us some ice cream. Around 7:30 PM I got up to put my ice cream away and literally couldn't move a muscle. I burst into tears and fell onto the couch. I cant even begin to explain the feeling I had. It is one of those things that you can only truly understand once its happened to you, and after talking to many of my friends with kids most of them did not have the same experience. Every woman is different but you know your own body and when its time you will know. All of my friends agree it goes from painful to a whole different type of pain and you just know.
I called my doctor and she told me not to come in. She said to stay at home for an hour and then come if it still felt like that. I didn't listen. I was in so much pain Ian literally had to carry me to the car. I couldn't breathe I was crying so hard. I wasn't 100% convinced I was in labor but I knew something wasn't normal. When we got to the hospital I was 3 cm dilated and 75% effaced. PROGRESS! However they told me they wouldn't give me a room until I was 4 cm. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I was not a happy camper, I cried to the DR begged her not to send me home. So she agreed I could walk the halls of the hospital for an hour and she would check me again. This, did not make me happy because as previously stated walking hurts...BAD. But, I sucked it up and walked the halls. It worked. I was at 4 cm and getting my own room. Then I got drugs... not my epidural. This part is blurry because I was in so much pain. But I think the anesthesiologist was busy and so they gave me Stadol and I went from crying in pain to giggling like a school girl in 2.5 seconds. Ian thought this was hilarious!! I could still feel contractions I just didn't care anymore. When the anesthesiologist did finally come in I had taken a little nap so I didn't have time to get nervous about the epidural. So it was in and I couldn't feel anything at all anymore. Heaven. It was very weird though because I had to ask nurses or my mom to turn me over every now and then because epidurals work with gravity so you do start to feel things and you have to flip to get it all working again. At one point my epidural machine broke. And I was getting no meds. The contractions were so intense at this point  it hit me like a ton of bricks and I had a panic attack. By this point it was about 7 am and baby was coming soon. So the pain was so intense. They got it fixed and all was good again. At some point they broke my water, gave me some pitocin around 9 cm, and people were coming in and out. I dont know when all that happened. Actually I think they broke my water the night before but like I said details are blurry. I think I slept a little on and off after this epidural situation because the next thing I remember it was 9:30 AM and I had told a nurse that I had to poop and all hell broke lose. I was convinced I just had to go to the bathroom. I was trying so hard to get the nurse to just bring me to the bathroom and everyone was laughing at me because this was clearly the sign for push time. So nurse grabbed the Dr and sure enough it was push time. Did you know Dr's have no part in this part?? Me either. He was there to give the nurse the ok to let me push and then I pushed with her for a bit, which by the way comes very naturally. Its painful but I just knew I had a job to do and I did it and according to the nurses I am an amazing pusher. Go me! Then the whole bed came apart and she called the Dr back in and he was there for the last few pushes and to catch the baby. They handed me my baby and I knew some thing wasn't right. He was purple and not crying. The nurses took him and after a few minutes I heard the most beautiful sound in the world. Lucas screamed bloody murder. They gave him right to me and he just looked at me and I felt amazing. I chose to do skin to skin so they put him naked under my gown on my chest and this is by far the best thing I had ever experienced. I was so lost in him that I didn't even notice the Dr still working on stuff  "down there". Thank God for that.

My labor is my own experience and every woman is different but I happen to think I got very lucky. Apart from the mini panic attack I had before pushing and the normal pain from contractions I really do believe I had a good smooth labor and I pat myself on the back for how I did. I am a champ and now I'm a mom and it really is all worth it and you do forget it all when your baby is in your arms. I was not ready to get pregnant again immediately nor am I ready for another now. But I do believe I'll do it all again someday. For now though I am loving giving all of my attention to my little man. He is my whole world now and the love I have for him is insane. Its amazing how much love you can have for someone you barely know.

There is more to tell about once baby was here. But I will get to that on a later post.

I love you Lucas Jameson Greene. You are my rockstar man and I cant wait to get to know you and watch you become who you will be!

Letter to my son

Dear Lucas, 

There are things in life I hope to teach you. I know I won't be a perfect mom and you will not always be a perfect child but together I hope we can teach each other many many things. These are just a few of the things I wish for your life:

1. I hope you know that I will always love you. No matter how bad things get or if you don't always listen to my advice. I still love you.

2. I hope to teach you how to be an amazing boy and grow into an amazing man. I hope to show you how to treat a woman. I hope you learn how to be an amazing husband some day. I will teach you these things by taking you on mommy/son dates.

3. I hope you know on all days the love I have for your father. I hope we gross you out sometimes because that's just what we do.

4. I want you to be a kid. Get dirty and make mistakes. Play in the mud and don't worry about how messy you get. Jump in puddles even if you don't have rain boots. We can always dry shoes :-) barefoot is even more fun.

5. Eat ice cream for breakfast! But maybe we'll save this one just for birthdays.

6. Cry if you need to. Even when you're older. I want you to know it doesn't make you less of a person to have emotions (and if you're anything like mommy you will have some emotions)

7. Love people. All people. I really hope I can teach you not to discriminate. 

8. I hope you listen to music. Listen to it loud and listen to it daily. Music is so important and is great therapy. And I also hope you don't short yourself by only trying music that's "in" because if there's one thing that took me too long to learn it is that what's on the radio is not necessarily the best thing out there. Also know there are multiple genres and you can like them all if you want to.

9. Don't be scared to try new things (this is something you will learn from daddy, Im still trying to figure this one out for myself)

10. Cook and bake and eat a lot. Your dad can help you with this one as well :-)

11. Spend time with your grandparents.They will spoil you rotten any way so you're going to love it.

12. I want you to be smart in your every day choices. Don't do things just because others are doing them. Do them because you really truly want to. 

13. Make mistakes, and learn from them. Don't be afraid to keep trying because you fail. Life would be so boring if nobody made mistakes or if we gave up too easily. 

14. Hug your mom and dad. Even in front of your friends ;-)

I love you so much already and I want your life to always be perfect and wonderful and I know that's not possible. But I really hope to raise you with a love of life. I really hope you can live life to the fullest and enjoy every minute of it. 

Maternity photo shoot with MegAnn Photography

Baby Shower Number 1

Baby shower was amazing and Ian and I had a blast. Not many pictures have been shown to me just yet but here are a few of my friends pics taken mostly on cell phones :-)

Ian and me with our Goddaughter

Love this!!

HIghschool friends all mommies now :-)

name banner!!

My Best friend Meg and Lucas' Godmother

Best Friends since HS and now preggo with our firsts at the same time, also thats my newest godbaby in there :-)

Photo bombed!! 

So much to update on because I have been slacking just a bit. 

For starters, I hit the 30 week mark over the weekend so just 10 short weeks to go (if he waits that long) I am starting to feel a little over whelmed as my due date gets closer and closer. Ian and I are in the process of buying his parents house and we are moving beginning of August. The idea of moving just a few days short of my due date is a little scary. I do fear that we wont be ready if Lucas decides to arrive early. But I'm just trying to stay calm as we get it all together and hopefully it will all work out! 

I had my glucose test a few weeks ago and I failed the first one by 3 points. We can blame this on the fact that I am in fact a complete idiot and ate a huge bowl of cereal the night before. oops. So I took my 3 hour test, oh so much fun it was too, and passed that one. So no gestational diabetes for me!! Yay!

I am now seeing my doctor every other week and getting regular check ups. Its starting to really feel like I am having this baby soon :-) 

Mothers Day and Fathers Day have passed and I was pleasantly surprised to find Ian had gotten me flowers and a card and acknowledged the day for me. So in return I got him a special gift and card for Fathers Day and he was so happy to be acknowledged as well. Although he fully admits I am a mother already and he isn't quite a father yet. Lol. 

This past weekend was baby shower number one so I will be posting pictures of that shortly and in a few weeks is number two :-) I am feeling so very blessed to have such amazing family and friends!! 

Its A Boy!!!!!!!

Lucas Jameson Greene 

Ian and I did a gender reveal cake and were shocked to see it was blue! After the shock set in we were both thrilled. Now the real planning begins. As well as the intimidation of having a son. lol. Im sure it will all be amazing!! And I cannot wait to meet my little man. 

Anatomy Scan

I had my anatomy scan on April 2nd and it was by far the coolest experience EVER! It was the first appointment where I was able to really see everything. Well, almost everything. I did not want to know the gender at the appointment so I did not get to see those parts. lol. But it was so surreal to see baby in that way. The tech said baby is very very long and has SUPER long legs. This was no surprise to me. I mean hello it is my baby :-)

Unfortunatly the baby would not turn around for the tech to see the heart all the way. So I have to go back in a few weeks to do another full anatomy scan. Not gonna lie Im ok with this because it means I get to experience that sonogram all over again :-)